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Discipline- saying NO and meaning it

It is bearing, disposition, demeanor and poise that determine the pattern of our lives. Etiquette and good discipline are acquired through constant practice. They are learnt from childhood and become habits by the time we grow up. Perhaps the greatest challenge of parenting is to help our children become social human beings.

We want them to be competent, well-adjusted, polite and independent human beings. Our children's unique personalities and our own, plus all other factors in our particular situations, combine to further complicate the already complicated process of growing up. Setting a good example in social situations is important. "Do as I say, not as I do," doesn't work, even with little children.

In order to cut down the use of "No" in front of others (and alone at home, too), some parents try to say "yes", with qualifications. "Yes, you may have a cookie after dinner." "Yes, you may play outdoors after your nap."

Over the centuries, considerable emphasis has been placed in various societies on the proper forms of behavior. Across the globe, career diplomats, armed force personnel, business executive and even politicians are put through stiff training. Etiquette and manners with discipline at home, with visitors, guests, in the office, various forms of addressing people, written communications, salutations, how to conduct during various ceremonies like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, deaths and funerals etc. are the basic essentials that should be taught from the childhood.

Effective discipline is not about the dilemma to spank or not to spank, but it's about setting limitations and meaning it. On occasions when the children cross their family values line, it would do them good to spend some time understanding the problem or reflecting on what they did wrong. It is a known fact that most of us learn best not by doing something right always but by doing it wrong with mistakes.

Hence harsh words and higher tones cannot bring out the disciplinary aspect from your child all at once. It needs to come from within and the child needs to get some positive experiences from his disciplinary actions so as to understand the value of it. Showing examples of some personalities famous for their disciplinary actions can be helpful to mold the child on the right path. There is nothing like leading by example and finding a role model that your child admires. The Internet can sometimes offer help for some problems that you may not be aware of.

There are an awful lot of things for kids in the present world and of course they wish to have it all for them. Kids who get almost everything that they wish for generally turn out to be unhappy kids. Basically, kids learn to be disciplined by self-control and also learn the methods to delay the satisfaction when they are told "no' by their parents. It may prove to be a very difficult struggle for both the parents and kids too but saying "no" and meaning it will definitely help you to have healthy, happy, satisfied and cooperative kids.

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